Ann's Abode

Yesterday, I was reminded why I watch desperate housewives...



When the episode ended, the narrator said:



What people are most afraid of are not Gruesome masks, not Giant spiders and Huge Monsters, what people are most afraid of is their own terrifying questions, and...

The camera pans on every leading lady;

Bree: did I do the right thing?;
Susan: is he really unhappy?;
Eedie: Has the chance for true love passed me by?

and then the camera pans on

Lynette: (who has just got the news that after months of extensive chemotherapy, he cancer is finally gone): We see her watching her kids sleep from the hallway

... the only way we survive these terrifying fears is by knowing, What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger.

Hey... just cleared SCJP with a 77% ... feels like a big load has been lifted off my head... like i have finally completed my responsibility or something, so it's great ... m reading this great book from on The Art of Strategy by Partha Bose who has used the life of Alexander The Great, yeah the conqueror of most of india as a reference point to grant insight into the world of strategy...n picked up this book by u guessed it Mario Puzo, The fourth K, 1st few K's are supposed to be the Kennedy's... yeah doesnt sound too awesome but picked it up jus cz its a puzo, if he's even half as good as he was when he wrote The Godfather, The Last Don , The Sicilian and Omerta... it's well worth a read.

i loved this poem, its from helium.com

I am mad about you and mad at you.
Mad at you for thousand reasons and no-reasons,
For not knowing, I am mad at you,
For not believing, I am mad about you!

What shall I offer with this heart and nothing?
I have neither riches nor a promise of many years,
I have little time that I want to spend with you,
So little is this desire.

Give me the words that can do this Impossible .
Give me the courage to show you my dreams.
I am your forgotten victory for a thousand years...
Claim or destroy.

Courage is knowing what not to fear.

My perception of me was thus. It shook yesterday, i came to terms with the reality of my existence.

The fact that i am just a fresher sunk in : Inexperienced and raw and that others expect nothing much of me, so i took the liberty of reducing my expectations of myself (finally!).

It did not come at an easy price. Debugging your own programs is never easy and this was years and years of malfunctioned programming that had gone into making me and my Mountain-sized ego.

Everything good that happened to me was a reinforcement of it , while every failure crushed it!

It was either exhilaration or grave depression for me.


That explains my fits when anyone insulted, blood boiled even when i did deserve it.

The Reality check has gotten me to start to actually live in the moment rather than in some fantasy land where i am the Next Bill Gates/Miss Universe/Donald Trump.

i am just anu, a nobody,
someone who might be somebody someday
and i could'nt be there tomorrow, if i was'nt here today so
i am very thankful for being here and for who i am today.

If at all i am proud of being me, it is only of my ability to Debugging my own programming ;)