Ann's Abode

I had a real scary dream this morning, got up at 4:30 am because of it and even considered practicing accounts, just because i didn't wanna go back to sleep!!!

The Dream
After college, the train that was supposed to take me to Vashi, changed direction sometime and took me to Wadala instead... I was perplexed, shocked and confused, was just thinking about calling mom when a child with very hollow eyes, of about 12, tapped me on my arm, he had my phone and said he was calling my mom... I woke up terrified.

I was just wondering what was it that scared me so much?

I was also thinking about what my college counselor told me... She said that i hold the reins too tight around me, that i don't let myself be and asked me to 'give space to myself'. What that basically means is that i scold myself a lot more than even my mom does, so that's a lot! :P

Anyway, i realised what the dream was about and why it scared me more than it would most people...

The train to Vashi going to Wadala instead was representative of the things out of my control affecting my life (i don't like it one bit!) The child having in possession, my cellphone was terrifying because it signified that i had lost control of what should normally be within my grasp.

Now, on hindsight, why wouldn't that be terrifying to a supposed 'control freak' like me! ... And you thought this was about the kid with the hollow eyes lol! ;)

After the Obituary to my dear cellfone, I've bought a new one now...

I know i should be really thrilled that I've found an alternate someone

I saw Sex and the City - The Movie yesterday, was very excited to finally see it!

Confessions of a shopaholic - The movie was a whole lot of fun just like the trailers promised and yes the theatre was brimming with like, 90% girl population... i guess we can just smell a good chick flick in the air!











Gossip Girl - Yes, it sounds superficial, good thing is it doesn't claim to be anything else. The script's well written, witty, smart, bitchy... Music's darn good too and how can i forget the people look gorgeous!
Half the reason i watch is the clothes, styling & accessories, worth killing for! Oh Yeah... has to be seen to be believed!

Reading: Ascent of money
Niall Ferguson writes financial history in a such a simplified manner that rookies like me can understand how it all works. Banks, debt and stock market don't seem so daunting anymore. The book has turned into a popular Television Series, the music's catchy and the narration intriguing that no wonder its such a hit, but don't be fooled, its practically been read right out of the book.

&

Stay Hungry Stay Foolish that takes a walk down memory lane into the lives of the entrepreneurs of our time. People who said no to seven figure salaries to take plunge & those who crossed the bridge when they came to it, in all cases, Real inspiration.

Must-read: Our Ultimate Reality, if you are the kind of person who wonders about Life, Universe and Everything, this book is what you want!

My colleagues and me were eyeing the newly introduced Tandoori pizza's at Papa John's for a while.

So one not so fine day, we ventured in to avail of the Papa John's Introductory offer for the new Tandoori Pizzas - Buy One Medium pizza and get 'pizza for one' (more like 'pizza for one kid', they left that out somehow) free!!!

I was having a good time, but then we ate at Papa John's.

I am entirely at blame, got enticed by their tandoori pizzas which looked so good on paper, how do they do that? Snap some other pizza? Or take a close-up of the teeny tiny pizzas they offer?

Take this: The tandoori paneer and tandoori chicken looked exactly the same with negligible amounts of chicken/ paneer respectively and with large doses of tomato, onion, corn… (screams)was more like an halfcooked utappam than a pizza.

The big red chillies, I thought, would be a saving grace, adding spice to the sad ordeal, but apparently that was too much to ask, the chillies were actually sour!!!(never seen that happen before, hence the special mention)

Quantity is less too, (that could be a good thing in retrospect) with the regular (normally 7-inches), they call it ‘pizza for one’ here (more like 'pizza for one kid', rolling eyes), being smaller than 6-inches and medium (normally 10-inches) being about 8-inches here.

The paneer is white by the way, my veggie friends seemed to have a problem with that, I can still hear them say: 'if it’s tandoori, it’s gotto be red'.
They have a point actually, after all we eat out even for the frills.

Like Saif said in the movie Salaam Namaste (wow, m quoting movies now) that: The wife is like ‘ghar ka khana’, when people are eating out, they expect a mistress.
(Saif played a Chef+Hotel Owner in the movie, that should take care of your wild imagination)

So the same day, I ordered the Chicken Bonanza from smoking joe’s (it doesn’t get better than that, very juicy chicken… mouth watering really) which finally satiated my pizza craving.

Yesterday, I was reminded why I watch desperate housewives...



When the episode ended, the narrator said:



What people are most afraid of are not Gruesome masks, not Giant spiders and Huge Monsters, what people are most afraid of is their own terrifying questions, and...

The camera pans on every leading lady;

Bree: did I do the right thing?;
Susan: is he really unhappy?;
Eedie: Has the chance for true love passed me by?

and then the camera pans on

Lynette: (who has just got the news that after months of extensive chemotherapy, he cancer is finally gone): We see her watching her kids sleep from the hallway

... the only way we survive these terrifying fears is by knowing, What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger.

i loved this poem, its from helium.com

I am mad about you and mad at you.
Mad at you for thousand reasons and no-reasons,
For not knowing, I am mad at you,
For not believing, I am mad about you!

What shall I offer with this heart and nothing?
I have neither riches nor a promise of many years,
I have little time that I want to spend with you,
So little is this desire.

Give me the words that can do this Impossible .
Give me the courage to show you my dreams.
I am your forgotten victory for a thousand years...
Claim or destroy.

Trust me, i have enough expertise to write this so i thought i'll share my knowledge, i am finally laughing at myself through this and THAT as far as i know is the first step to moving on ...

U can treat this as a comprehensive guide to WHAT NOT TO DO... enjoy!

1) Get the often repeated Aptitude test paper of the previous years and base all your hopes on it, don't study anything else and Voila! The format gets completely changed for the first time ever exclusively for you!

2)When you hear about negative marking of 0.25 , take extra care about positive marking and mark only the answers which you are certain are correct even if those answers lie in only one section which leads you to exclaim after the paper "oh sh**, is there sectional cut-off?"

3)In the last round after you have been promised the job, when the interviewer (a biggie of a small but very successful company) asks you why you want to leave your previous job say "There is growth, but this branch i am working in is not huge " which leads him to say "My company is also not huge, so that means you'll leave me!"

4) When asked "Where do you see yourself in 3 years ?" say -> Working abroad in the technology you are training me in!

That's all i have for now ... but will surely update this with more of my pearls of wisdom!

Lesson learnt: Complacency does KILL!

Life has always been about ... Win some
Lose some

The Ultimate aim though is -> To Win all
but until then i can keep laughing at myself and yes, u can keep enjoying at my expense! :P

We cannot tell the precise moment when friendship is formed. As in filling a vessel drop by drop, there is at last a drop which makes it run over. So in a series of acts of kindness there is, at last, one which makes the heart run over.

FATE DETERMINES WHO COMES INTO OUR LIVES.....HEART DETERMINES WHO STAYS!

I now realise what Self-Motivation is all about . . .

I was travelling to college to study during my preparatory leave for my Semester 8 exams, when i bumped into this school friend of mine. She did seem thrilled to see me bt could/would not talk ..later i realised she could not as she had been practising for her play all of the previous day. . . but there was a serenity about her . . She was happy,satisfied and more importantly Content!

i envied her peace . . .

Soon she got up ,leaned out of the train and started taking pictures of the sun by the sea .

i envied her job. . .

Soon i heard myself rattling on and on to her about how unsure i am about this whole engineering thing and whether i am actually cut out for it .She heard me out patiently and then said you dont know what you are cut out for unless you experience it and rightly enough mugging from books does'nt make for experience as an engineer.

She then said you can be anything you want to be . . but for that you've got to know what you are NOT and what if This is what you want to be .This got me thinking what if i lose out on this 'opportunity ' due to my small- sightedness . . .

I now realise what Self-Motivation is all about . . .

I am more Self-Aware now and don't easily crib about life . . i watch my words now and more importantly my thoughts which is why that smile hardly leaves my face . . .

This must be my most intimate post ever ... deepest thoughts revealed ... darkest questions answered ... life unveiled ... peace finally overflows!!!

I have been searching for the purpose of life since a while now, here's what I found.

The Journey begins here:

According to Hatha Yoga, there are seven chakras in our body situated in areas ranging from the Base of the Spine (1st chakra) to the Upper Brain (7th chakra).

The work "chakra" comes from the Sanskrit language of India and translated, means "wheel." Indians believe the body contains seven main chakras, arranged vertically from the base of the spine to the top of the head. These chakras are thought of as spinning vortexes of energy, thus wheels of light.
Each chakra is associated with particular functions within the body and with specific life issues and the way we handle them, both inside ourselves and in our interactions with the world.
Chakras can be thought of as sites where we receive, absorb, and distribute life energies. Through external situations and internal habits, a chakra can become either deficient or excessive, and imbalanced.
The lower chakras focus on details such as our home, family, and emotions, while the upper chakras focus on the spiritual aspect of our lives. All of the chakras affect one another and work together.
By balancing our chakras, we also balance our lives.
The 7th chakra is located at the crown of the head and serves as the crown of the entire chakra system, symbolizing the highest state of enlightenment.
The function of the 7th chakra is connection with the infinite.

In art, Christ is depicted with a halo around his head. This could represent the awakened spirituality of the 7th chakra.

The element of the 7th chakra is thought/cosmic consciousness/nirvana/Christ consciousness/Krishna consciousness/moksha.

They are all essentially the same thing!

It is the state one is in when one has achieved the 1st chakra of meditation, also called 'Super Consciousness'.

Western culture acknowledges this achievement as the Unity of mind, body and soul.
Any disunity has often led us to say, "I am feeling beside myself".

Try meditating and you will know what I mean … you will get distracted by one thought or the other; even the body might start twitching just because it doesn't want a master. We are usually at war with ourselves, wanting different things at the same time.

In this state of balance, one is said to be able to experience every other being around for miles e.g.: He can even feel the anxiety with which a mound of ants go about their work!!
The same way that God feels and knows all of us . . .

Once in this state he is one with God himself and doesn't ever want to return to the petty turmoil's of the world...This explains how the sadhu's meditate for years on end.

God himself is explained in various religions with the concept of three ---

 Christianity describes him as: The Holy Trinity; The Father, The Son and The Holy Spirit, All are different BUT ONE!

 Hinduism describes him as: The Creator Bramha, The Preserver Vishnu and The Destroyer Shiva. All are different BUT ONE!


 Time is Past, Present and Future. All are different BUT ONE!

 Consciousness is Sub Consciousness, Consciousness and Super Consciousness... All are different BUT ONE!

There is nothing but HIM! …There is ONLY Him!

God had created man in his likeness so he could live life through him, which is why we have challenges placed in front of us time and again …so that God can live through everything and experience himself to the fullest. NO! This is no Exaggeration ...the expanse of one mind is so huge ...the shades one person can take are so diverse (There are dark and light shades to every person)... that knowing who one truly is CAN be a challenge!

We have been created by him and for him so that he can experience every possible emotion through us, later we all return to HIM!

But if he is trying to experience life through us ... Why are so many of us trying to become like him by attaining moksha/nirvana /Christ Consciousness/Krishna Consciousness… then

What is this ongoing hunt for spirituality all about anyway?

What we fail to understand is that Life is given to us, only for really living.

We can live it to the fullest only by being true to ourselves.

By being who we are.

By doing only what the Inner voice tells us to do.

[I strongly believe this inner voice is GOD himself as I have got the best solutions often just through introspection or as I like to call it through communication with GOD]

By not dismissing our First instincts (such as give to the poor when your first instinct is to give)...

BY loving first ourselves unconditionally!!! (without any condition just as we are, not a few pounds lighter, not one promotion later) because how can we love others if we don't love ourselves … Else how can we give what we ourselves do not possess?

What we cannot believe is that it's all so simple!

We don't need to bear ourselves … We need to celebrate ourselves!

We need to KNOW that we are Worthy... we need to LIVE...
To love ... To hurt . . . To be happy. . . To be distraught ... Because ‘now' is all there is!

i never realized whn we became so close to each other

never realized whn i started sharing my life wid u

never realized whn u started seeming so sweet to me

never realized that the friend i was searching 4 was in u..

whenever i am with you
i get a good feeling inside
you make me feel in love
you make me feel alive

my world is not complete
without you being here
i think about you every second
my love for you is so dear

you are so perfect
you are so fine
your beauty is so great
i almost go blind

i love your looks, smile
and personality too
i love your eyes, your sense of humor
i love you

i really hope our friendship never ever ends
and we see each other later in life
and we will always be friends