Ann's Abode

I haven't really been able to write off-late, whenever i firmly resolve to & park my ass down, i ended up finding more ways to decorate my blog.

However, something changed this morning & made me realize why i started blogging in the first place.

I had not planned to write, but now i cannot stop myself... i feel like i have something to say, an incredible urge to put it out there & maybe then, then the excitement will subside...

So here goes:

My Dad is home. Its a once-in-a-year thing & a pretty big deal!

When mummy woke me up today, she was so much cuter than she usually is & she is very cute usually... God! How i love Blinky & Popsy!!! :)


His suitcase is a place of wonders, you never know what you might find, i swam through the haze of chocolates, purses, perfumes, shoes etc for a while, got carried away & then, found myself ...


I have already started subtly maneuvering my demands, rolled them up in sugar, mixed with flattery in the right amounts... can't help it, have turned into a little girl again... Oh, i might have a treadmill soon :P



I seem to be in smiley-land, that's because i feel so good deep within, like we are all complete now, not just a directionless body without its head...





I say that not only because the dad is the senior-most one here, but because he is also the most stable + sensible + sensitive + sweetest + funniest person i know... He is the one who keeps all the psychos together & bound as one...


Without him around, in a few days, we fall back into our old patterns of not respecting each other, taking each other for granted & the regular drama of 2 vs 1.


Let me explain.
Hardly any situation is resolved amicably, there is always side-taking & among the mum, bro & me, one of us always ends up playing the villian... So, there's always a:
Mum-dsnt-get-me phase for the bro n me,
James-is-so-mean phase for the mum n me &
Anu-is-such-a-bitch phase for the bro n mum...

LOL!! Yes, we are that juvenile... We need a stable, sensitive guy watching us & nodding his head in a mildly disapproving manner that says 'Kids, when will they grow up'

















Yup, the Mum is just a kid only, with her big, innocent wide eyes & a smile that holds nothing back... (Of course, she is also Superwoman but that's another post.)



I love my awesome, kickass family!

:) :) :) :)

i just read I think, I dream, I wonder and therefore I am... and i am SHOCKED...

Being that depressed is all rite... but what i cannot stand is that i was absolutely certain that i would lose the phone i was going to buy! ! !

and guess what?

I DID... within just 4 months!
(i guess i was too ashamed of myself to blog about that)

i have moved on henceforth, but the newer, wiser me doesn't think that she'll lose this one till it completes 2 yrs in her possession...

She bought it on Dec 1 and has just completed its 2 month anniversary!

Yes, it is imperative to recognize that so as to remind the bozo in her that its just been 2 months, and she can't get careless yet, cos there's a good 1 yr and 10 months to go!!!

By the way, i loove The Apple ipad tablet.I am totally eyeing it, Can you blame me?

The plotting & planning to obtain it has officially begun...

I had a real scary dream this morning, got up at 4:30 am because of it and even considered practicing accounts, just because i didn't wanna go back to sleep!!!

The Dream
After college, the train that was supposed to take me to Vashi, changed direction sometime and took me to Wadala instead... I was perplexed, shocked and confused, was just thinking about calling mom when a child with very hollow eyes, of about 12, tapped me on my arm, he had my phone and said he was calling my mom... I woke up terrified.

I was just wondering what was it that scared me so much?

I was also thinking about what my college counselor told me... She said that i hold the reins too tight around me, that i don't let myself be and asked me to 'give space to myself'. What that basically means is that i scold myself a lot more than even my mom does, so that's a lot! :P

Anyway, i realised what the dream was about and why it scared me more than it would most people...

The train to Vashi going to Wadala instead was representative of the things out of my control affecting my life (i don't like it one bit!) The child having in possession, my cellphone was terrifying because it signified that i had lost control of what should normally be within my grasp.

Now, on hindsight, why wouldn't that be terrifying to a supposed 'control freak' like me! ... And you thought this was about the kid with the hollow eyes lol! ;)

After the Obituary to my dear cellfone, I've bought a new one now...

I know i should be really thrilled that I've found an alternate someone

A twist of fate, a bad day, things going wrong, getting up n the wrong side of the bed... i don't believe in any of these things.

Hello der! How’s life treating ya? No, wait… correction….How are you treating life???

Did you know that the falling dream is actually an indication of you having lost control of some aspect of your daily life? One of my friends gets that dream repeatedly but she’s not gonna buy into this… very cynical babe that one…

And the Death dream actually symbolizes the death of worries in a person’s life! And indicates longevity and prosperity … had seen a very close friend in such a dream, was scared shitless and of course she did not fancy it either… yet

M brought a palmistry book yesterday, in which I saw that I have a psychic hand and have crosses in just the right place to make it as an occultist! Bring out the Crystal Ball already ;)

The other day Jupiter, Venus and the moon arranged themselves in a spectacular fashion so as to smile benevolently at us, our friends in the west were not so lucky as they had to made do with a frown.

Here are some pics.
Enjoy!

And here's the frown the americans saw, No wonder they weren't as excited.

Amazing, huh!

My colleagues and me were eyeing the newly introduced Tandoori pizza's at Papa John's for a while.

So one not so fine day, we ventured in to avail of the Papa John's Introductory offer for the new Tandoori Pizzas - Buy One Medium pizza and get 'pizza for one' (more like 'pizza for one kid', they left that out somehow) free!!!

I was having a good time, but then we ate at Papa John's.

I am entirely at blame, got enticed by their tandoori pizzas which looked so good on paper, how do they do that? Snap some other pizza? Or take a close-up of the teeny tiny pizzas they offer?

Take this: The tandoori paneer and tandoori chicken looked exactly the same with negligible amounts of chicken/ paneer respectively and with large doses of tomato, onion, corn… (screams)was more like an halfcooked utappam than a pizza.

The big red chillies, I thought, would be a saving grace, adding spice to the sad ordeal, but apparently that was too much to ask, the chillies were actually sour!!!(never seen that happen before, hence the special mention)

Quantity is less too, (that could be a good thing in retrospect) with the regular (normally 7-inches), they call it ‘pizza for one’ here (more like 'pizza for one kid', rolling eyes), being smaller than 6-inches and medium (normally 10-inches) being about 8-inches here.

The paneer is white by the way, my veggie friends seemed to have a problem with that, I can still hear them say: 'if it’s tandoori, it’s gotto be red'.
They have a point actually, after all we eat out even for the frills.

Like Saif said in the movie Salaam Namaste (wow, m quoting movies now) that: The wife is like ‘ghar ka khana’, when people are eating out, they expect a mistress.
(Saif played a Chef+Hotel Owner in the movie, that should take care of your wild imagination)

So the same day, I ordered the Chicken Bonanza from smoking joe’s (it doesn’t get better than that, very juicy chicken… mouth watering really) which finally satiated my pizza craving.

Hey... just cleared SCJP with a 77% ... feels like a big load has been lifted off my head... like i have finally completed my responsibility or something, so it's great ... m reading this great book from on The Art of Strategy by Partha Bose who has used the life of Alexander The Great, yeah the conqueror of most of india as a reference point to grant insight into the world of strategy...n picked up this book by u guessed it Mario Puzo, The fourth K, 1st few K's are supposed to be the Kennedy's... yeah doesnt sound too awesome but picked it up jus cz its a puzo, if he's even half as good as he was when he wrote The Godfather, The Last Don , The Sicilian and Omerta... it's well worth a read.

My perception of me was thus. It shook yesterday, i came to terms with the reality of my existence.

The fact that i am just a fresher sunk in : Inexperienced and raw and that others expect nothing much of me, so i took the liberty of reducing my expectations of myself (finally!).

It did not come at an easy price. Debugging your own programs is never easy and this was years and years of malfunctioned programming that had gone into making me and my Mountain-sized ego.

Everything good that happened to me was a reinforcement of it , while every failure crushed it!

It was either exhilaration or grave depression for me.


That explains my fits when anyone insulted, blood boiled even when i did deserve it.

The Reality check has gotten me to start to actually live in the moment rather than in some fantasy land where i am the Next Bill Gates/Miss Universe/Donald Trump.

i am just anu, a nobody,
someone who might be somebody someday
and i could'nt be there tomorrow, if i was'nt here today so
i am very thankful for being here and for who i am today.

If at all i am proud of being me, it is only of my ability to Debugging my own programming ;)

To Love and Win is the Best Thing;
To Love and Lose is the Next Best.

For people who understand that, Sawariya is a beautiful movie.

Sanjay Leela Bhansali himself said in one of his interviews that
Unrequited love is his favourite form of love.He believed that, it
was the only way Love lasted forever and that romance begins to fade
when people begin to take their loved ones for granted once in their
hold.

I agree with him in the fact that there is a different beauty in
losing your love as long as you know they are happy.The dull ache in
the heart is something i know i miss when i recover.

Ah! So Great minds do think alike after all. ;)

Its a beautiful picturesque movie, exactly what Hollywood calls a musical.

The breaking into a melodious songs happens for a good reason each
time and not just for the sake of it -> A True rarity in Bollywood,
not just the timely occurence of songs but also the melody contained!

i heard it took 3 years for Monty Singh compose the music, years well
spent i say.
Me thinks whether this one sets the cash registers ringing or not,
it sure has a chance of bringing the coveted Golden statuette home.

He could have easily shown the idyllic picture of the hero and the
heroine walking away in the sunset which the average indian audience
is so accustomed to seeing that every time it does'nt happen,
something in us revolts, Remember Titanic? and scores of other such
movies which makes us want to yell out 'Why did it have it have to end
that way?'


It sure takes guts to defy convention and especially when crores of
rupees are at stake.

I salute the man for having the courage to follow his heart which sure
will give him a sense of pride in his product;
Something even tasting Box office success Bigtime cannot bring if one
has compromised one's product just to make it more commercially viable.

Have a good day
Signing Off,
Ann3004

Trust me, i have enough expertise to write this so i thought i'll share my knowledge, i am finally laughing at myself through this and THAT as far as i know is the first step to moving on ...

U can treat this as a comprehensive guide to WHAT NOT TO DO... enjoy!

1) Get the often repeated Aptitude test paper of the previous years and base all your hopes on it, don't study anything else and Voila! The format gets completely changed for the first time ever exclusively for you!

2)When you hear about negative marking of 0.25 , take extra care about positive marking and mark only the answers which you are certain are correct even if those answers lie in only one section which leads you to exclaim after the paper "oh sh**, is there sectional cut-off?"

3)In the last round after you have been promised the job, when the interviewer (a biggie of a small but very successful company) asks you why you want to leave your previous job say "There is growth, but this branch i am working in is not huge " which leads him to say "My company is also not huge, so that means you'll leave me!"

4) When asked "Where do you see yourself in 3 years ?" say -> Working abroad in the technology you are training me in!

That's all i have for now ... but will surely update this with more of my pearls of wisdom!

Lesson learnt: Complacency does KILL!

Life has always been about ... Win some
Lose some

The Ultimate aim though is -> To Win all
but until then i can keep laughing at myself and yes, u can keep enjoying at my expense! :P

When does one know its time to draw the line?

Is Attachment possible without possessiveness kicking in?

And when it does kick in, what can be done to cure it ... Is mere denial enough? or one has to face facts and harder still ... Face People!

Is it ok to want something? and Hate the world and everything that belongs to it when you don't get what you desire even though you know its illogical as you know you were never meant to get it ...

What if you didn't want to want it ... but now that its gone, you realise u did and miss it being there...

What does one do when one realises one has taken one of life's most precious gifts for granted and now cant bear the thought of losing the spot of prominence in the loved one's life?

Heya Pumpkins! i know i have been missing from action for quite a while ... i attribute that to all the perks that come with a gruelling job hunt, deciding where u want to be and then finally settling IN! but then again being the vagabond i am, u never know for how long that is unless i find someplace that just makes me stay with the warm culture, great work ethic and growth prospects. Now cmon' is that too much to ask or am i just hallucinating !

Anyway, what finally prompted me to write is the fact that i was shocked out of my wits and am still in shock actually even though the incident happened yesterday! My cell got stolen THRICE and this time from my bag from (quite literally) under my nose, but to my credit there was no place to move and i don't exactly know when it happened ... Yes, m talking about an unfortunate incident in the local trains of Mumbai!
Talk about being at the wrong place at the wrong time!

Its funny how other people's misfortunes tend to make u feel better, i met a woman while coming today whose pass even got stolen along with her cellphone, since then i am feeling a bit better but not for long until i realized that we had both done the same stupid mistake of leaving it in the front pocket of the purse, so all you dearies reading this BEWARE n BE ON HIGH ALERT lest the same misfortune befall you.

Now m taking ma shell shocked demeanour and getting out of here... Have a good day ... ciao!

I calculated my marks – the way I have never calculated
Found out the marks of every year !
My aggregate has come upto 54.34%
Its not fantastic! But I am satisfied . . .

I asked myself why and got this answer :

Because my aim in these 5 years has never been marks

Marks – I used to forget about it now and then; it was as if I had this ‘Been there done that’ feeling about marks. (I had done well in my 10th , 11th and 12th) so I got bored of scoring (oh yeah that happens to me) … I even get bored of winning and that’s when I know it’s time to change the game .. I have this conquer and move ahead kinda thinking and then I never look back.

But then was I aimless all these years … I think NOT!

I had an aim for which I have scoured all possible articles, read every other magazine and book to get closer to my ideal!

Yess .. my ideal was and has been for a while .. just to shape me .. to artistically create what I want to make of Anu .. my mind is always churning new ways to cross that next road block that stops me from me becoming who I want to be …Which is why I am absolutely sure .. ill get there ...

A good friend of mine had actually told me once that in your race to get somewhere else , it shouldn’t be that you don’t stop and enjoy where you are :)

ohh kats ! how do you know me so well but then again of course you do .. because you are the only person who I actually update when I cross every other ‘road - block’ .. thanks for listening and never mind the ‘u r always saying something ’ attitude of your's ! huh! (winks).

So I am enjoying the ride and cherishing what I have actually achieved in these five years ..

I have achieved a kickass personality , THIS is my GOLD!

I now realise what Self-Motivation is all about . . .

I was travelling to college to study during my preparatory leave for my Semester 8 exams, when i bumped into this school friend of mine. She did seem thrilled to see me bt could/would not talk ..later i realised she could not as she had been practising for her play all of the previous day. . . but there was a serenity about her . . She was happy,satisfied and more importantly Content!

i envied her peace . . .

Soon she got up ,leaned out of the train and started taking pictures of the sun by the sea .

i envied her job. . .

Soon i heard myself rattling on and on to her about how unsure i am about this whole engineering thing and whether i am actually cut out for it .She heard me out patiently and then said you dont know what you are cut out for unless you experience it and rightly enough mugging from books does'nt make for experience as an engineer.

She then said you can be anything you want to be . . but for that you've got to know what you are NOT and what if This is what you want to be .This got me thinking what if i lose out on this 'opportunity ' due to my small- sightedness . . .

I now realise what Self-Motivation is all about . . .

I am more Self-Aware now and don't easily crib about life . . i watch my words now and more importantly my thoughts which is why that smile hardly leaves my face . . .

This must be my most intimate post ever ... deepest thoughts revealed ... darkest questions answered ... life unveiled ... peace finally overflows!!!

I have been searching for the purpose of life since a while now, here's what I found.

The Journey begins here:

According to Hatha Yoga, there are seven chakras in our body situated in areas ranging from the Base of the Spine (1st chakra) to the Upper Brain (7th chakra).

The work "chakra" comes from the Sanskrit language of India and translated, means "wheel." Indians believe the body contains seven main chakras, arranged vertically from the base of the spine to the top of the head. These chakras are thought of as spinning vortexes of energy, thus wheels of light.
Each chakra is associated with particular functions within the body and with specific life issues and the way we handle them, both inside ourselves and in our interactions with the world.
Chakras can be thought of as sites where we receive, absorb, and distribute life energies. Through external situations and internal habits, a chakra can become either deficient or excessive, and imbalanced.
The lower chakras focus on details such as our home, family, and emotions, while the upper chakras focus on the spiritual aspect of our lives. All of the chakras affect one another and work together.
By balancing our chakras, we also balance our lives.
The 7th chakra is located at the crown of the head and serves as the crown of the entire chakra system, symbolizing the highest state of enlightenment.
The function of the 7th chakra is connection with the infinite.

In art, Christ is depicted with a halo around his head. This could represent the awakened spirituality of the 7th chakra.

The element of the 7th chakra is thought/cosmic consciousness/nirvana/Christ consciousness/Krishna consciousness/moksha.

They are all essentially the same thing!

It is the state one is in when one has achieved the 1st chakra of meditation, also called 'Super Consciousness'.

Western culture acknowledges this achievement as the Unity of mind, body and soul.
Any disunity has often led us to say, "I am feeling beside myself".

Try meditating and you will know what I mean … you will get distracted by one thought or the other; even the body might start twitching just because it doesn't want a master. We are usually at war with ourselves, wanting different things at the same time.

In this state of balance, one is said to be able to experience every other being around for miles e.g.: He can even feel the anxiety with which a mound of ants go about their work!!
The same way that God feels and knows all of us . . .

Once in this state he is one with God himself and doesn't ever want to return to the petty turmoil's of the world...This explains how the sadhu's meditate for years on end.

God himself is explained in various religions with the concept of three ---

 Christianity describes him as: The Holy Trinity; The Father, The Son and The Holy Spirit, All are different BUT ONE!

 Hinduism describes him as: The Creator Bramha, The Preserver Vishnu and The Destroyer Shiva. All are different BUT ONE!


 Time is Past, Present and Future. All are different BUT ONE!

 Consciousness is Sub Consciousness, Consciousness and Super Consciousness... All are different BUT ONE!

There is nothing but HIM! …There is ONLY Him!

God had created man in his likeness so he could live life through him, which is why we have challenges placed in front of us time and again …so that God can live through everything and experience himself to the fullest. NO! This is no Exaggeration ...the expanse of one mind is so huge ...the shades one person can take are so diverse (There are dark and light shades to every person)... that knowing who one truly is CAN be a challenge!

We have been created by him and for him so that he can experience every possible emotion through us, later we all return to HIM!

But if he is trying to experience life through us ... Why are so many of us trying to become like him by attaining moksha/nirvana /Christ Consciousness/Krishna Consciousness… then

What is this ongoing hunt for spirituality all about anyway?

What we fail to understand is that Life is given to us, only for really living.

We can live it to the fullest only by being true to ourselves.

By being who we are.

By doing only what the Inner voice tells us to do.

[I strongly believe this inner voice is GOD himself as I have got the best solutions often just through introspection or as I like to call it through communication with GOD]

By not dismissing our First instincts (such as give to the poor when your first instinct is to give)...

BY loving first ourselves unconditionally!!! (without any condition just as we are, not a few pounds lighter, not one promotion later) because how can we love others if we don't love ourselves … Else how can we give what we ourselves do not possess?

What we cannot believe is that it's all so simple!

We don't need to bear ourselves … We need to celebrate ourselves!

We need to KNOW that we are Worthy... we need to LIVE...
To love ... To hurt . . . To be happy. . . To be distraught ... Because ‘now' is all there is!

But before that, We decided to go for our own little trip to a land Far,Far away ..

The place was called Arnala ...

It was so pretty the whole way that i realized how much i miss the lush greens n earthy houses of my native land :)

Anand Resort was checked out first but rejected soon because some people with an affinity for Public Loos did'nt find the place good enough then finally lodged in a hotel .. named Green Paradise resort! ..

okay No paradise but green it was!

The room provided us with some wet beds dumped on top of each other with NO MIRROR ..the girls would have gone into SHOCK ..
but i came to the rescue with my shining MIRROR! (Big grin).

But we made the best of it .. (by staying away from the room as much as possible .. unless absolutely necessary!!!)

I realized people were REALLY hungry when i saw them feeding themselves the upma and poha.Upma was utterly clumpy but the i liked the poha(maybe due to the generous presence of potatoes) .

Then it was time to hit the pool .. God bless sandy for being "Oh so careful" and getting an extra bunch of clothing .. giving me an opportunity to take a dip :D where Srividya had clearly mastered the art of floating in water !!!

Everyone of us tried n tried n tried and only sandy succeeded later while Joan just sat pretty n entertained us with her dance routines.

The water got to us after a while and after changing .. we set off for another adventure ..Explored a well ..................BY ENTERING IT!

i thought that was Pretty cool!

It was hilarious when Sri got a call in the well and everyone around went .." I' m Well " while Reef gave some good advice of the form : 'If ur scared , just look down' .

Lunch was had by all hence and this time no one complained except for the hard work that went into finding 'soft puris' .

It was followed by a round of dumb charades; was intended to shake off the lethargia but what really woke us up was the chai and golas later .. Umm .. Anurag won the Gola eating Marathon after eating 7 closely followed by saagar at 6.

As the evening set in .. We began walking toward Arnala Beach ..There was a good attempt at the Baywatch routine ...................by the GUYS!!!!!!!!

After which everyone got emotional and took snaps with their near and dear ones Awww!

So that was it .. everyone goes their own way ..

but ways can always meet ..

paths can surely cross and B.E. Comps shall be together again ..

i can feel it in the air ..

Can hear 'Tireeeeeeeeed' being echoed still .. .. .. .. .. Can you? ;)

MMS !!!!!!!!

i thought i was being soo smart when i made a q bank of all viva q's asked to ppl yest.. but i have'nt had time to prepare those even..
i WAnted to stay up,ok... which i y i was "Dazed" (somewhr between dreaming n studying n sleeping !) till 3 in the morning ..

Exhausted ..tired n confused ...NOT to mention ..FREAKED OUT ...i got up at 6 .. n started receiving calls frm ppl in the same state..
WAT IS IT ABOUT BEING IN THE SAME BOAT THAT IS SOO PEACEFUL..evn if it means ..gettin screweddddd....
oh yes!..dis ws da 2nd time i was going for a viva totally unprepared .. n the last time.. I FAILED!!

So decided to head to collg.. mayb i would actually grasp some knowledge der.. the idea REALLY was to make some smarty who knows everythin ..to explain!

But no one was any better dan the othr ..
and imagine ma surprise when i was asked the same questions i had soo comprehensively created! (He DID try to confuse me but i successfully screwed up his concepts on the same ... The MAGIX of confidence ;) )

:D

M thrilled!!

n m soooooooooo happy that these Viva thingies have ended for me on a good note :D