A random thought just flew into my mind today...
Life is not about being perfect, but about being imperfect well!
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Dominique left.
She had just been on a date with a prominent architect.
On paper he seemed like a good idea, but in reality something was amiss. The Gaps in conversation had to be filled with words. It was too awkward otherwise. She tried but then she tired. The constant pressure didn't seem worth it. She stopped doing the needful.
She didn't ramble on to entertain the narcissistic, almighty architect, who expected it of her. She didn't like to do what was expected, so deliberately created and held onto the moments of silence. These were not comfortable for him. He accused her of never talking.
She smiled.
'What a child', she thought and looked through him.
Not a fan of meaningless small talk, her mind raced for an exit. She always got what she wanted.
Shanaiya Bose was lost in thought. Her friend, asha shook her out of reverie.
"Helloooo, Is anyone in there? You look dazed.", she said waving her hands dramatically in front of her.
She had to blink twice, looked at Asha with deliberate concentration and said, "Yea, you were saying Mini was unfair to you." Asha seemed satisfied and carried on talking about her boss, whilst shanaiya drifted away again.
One of the things on her mind these days was a face, not just any, but a completely flawless, Adonis-like face with features chiseled from stone, if you may.
When Asha had pointed him out to her in the company bus as her friend who had just returned from an on-site trip and had later introduced them, she didn’t think much of him.
Reason 1; he was wearing huge glares, in effect covering up mesmerizing eyes and 2 ; The clothes weren’t a saving grace either, he had worn a loose checked formal shirt with loose cargoes, she would never have guessed the big, beautiful body that lay within.
Instead 1 & 2 combined gave the impression of someone who was trying too hard, ‘a total wannabe’; she judged and smiled politely when introduced.
The following day, as the bus halted at his stop, she saw a stunner standing there, without the glares this time & in crisp formals. She couldn’t help drooling. As realization dawned of who it was, she mentally kicked herself for being so dismissive of him.
As she stared at him disbelievingly from under the protection of her glares, she checked herself. Yes, she was immaculately dressed, accessorized well and wore subtle make-up which enhanced her features perfectly.
She wasn't sure about many thing, but one thing she was that she knew was that they would have some story together. It could be a chapter, a section, a page or even two lines long, but it would be there.
According to the subsequent inquiries, he was of a different religion. But then again, she thought, there was no harm in making him lose sleep over her.
To induce the first stir of desire, she looked right into his eyes every time their paths crossed. He almost nodded his head once, clearly to induce some sense of sanity...
Clearly she thought, this was completely new to him, he knew nothing of eye-games.
She was anyway without intention of striking up a conversation.
Soon it just became just this thing they did, her eyes automatically sought him out when he entered the bus and his did the same.
It was electric, no one saw what they were doing, it was like a common secret, a game no one else was privy to. They felt like the two of them were alone in the whole wide world for those two seconds.
It was cutting edge seduction.
It didn’t help though that he thought of himself as a ‘lovegod’ of sorts, so she knew she had to keep him off-balance, change the rules of the game and step back to heighten the intrigue. She was just delaying that phase as she was enjoying this too much in her otherwise boring life or lack of it, but what she never imagined was that circumstance will play spoilsport and interfere, so as to make her change course.
One afternoon after a solitary walk and with a much clearer head, she got into the lift to get to the destination floor (6th). When on the way, it halted on the 5th, where to her absolute surprise, he was waiting with friend in tow, the friend stepped in, but he didn’t, as you guessed it, she was at it again, looking him in the eye, but this time, with reckless abandon, without bother of who’s watching, he had never looked that good!
She was caught off-guard by the proximity of this encounter, also because they were on hallowed ground. She had never played eye games within office premises, so was shaken at this absolute invasion of private space.
Her eyes were almost begging him not to take the lift, displaying a lot of emotion in the bargain, he came up with his own vulnerable look too, which was 'oh-so-irresistible', She saw a softness in his otherwise hot & tough Adonis-like face, which made her melt, that was when she realized that this guy is more than a just a piece of meat, he is a man she could fall in love with!
That realization made her eyes intensify the pleading, asking him to go away, to not take the lift, he looked almost helpless now.
He actually would have let it go, if it was not for his friend asking him ‘What’s wrong?’ and prodding him in.
Once he was in, she could feel his eyes on her, observing curiously the bundle of nerves in front of him. She, on the other hand was half-pleased with herself for creating the supremely romantic moment (which she knew she would treasure until something better came up) and half-mad at herself for letting her face mirror her thoughts so clearly, she clenched her fist and waited with bated breath for the destination floor and rushed out, once there.
Later, She replayed the moment in her mind over and over again, trying to decipher just how much she might have emoted/ what he was thinking at that time/ how dashing he looked that time/ how beautiful he made her feel and also something completely new, now he was more than meat, he was a person, She had seen him vulnerable and so had he, now she was thinking of the person (let’s call it level 2), alarm bells were ringing in her head, but she tried and ignored the noise.
The warm fuzzy feeling that you feel, when you know you are desired, enveloped her and she was reveling in it, even when she met her Asha, in the evening.
She was reliving the eye-lock and enjoying it immensely, only half-listening to what Asha was saying. Actually, she was not even pretending to listen.
Shanaiya was clearly in another world and Asha wanted all the gory details.
She hesitated a bit, wondering if Asha, the realist, would break the bubble, but finally took the risk, as she was dying to talk about it.
Asha soon started teasing her with him, which she did not take to kindly, she feared that either it would trivialize the awesomeness of the moment or would build it up too much, so while trying bravely to control the blushing, she told her firmly to stop it.
Asha wanted to say something but hesitated and now it was Shanaiya who egged her on. Asha finally relented and said that ‘when such things happen, she prefers to laugh it out, so that it doesn’t play on the mind too much’
Damn! She knew Asha was right.
Asha asked her if she could see a future with him, she replied in the negative.
She didn’t want a ‘lovegod’ for a husband; why you ask? Well, for one she would get a complex and would live in constant fear of him straying. She was sure he would because the temptation for him would be too great, & the best part of temptation is the giving-in to it.
She loved the forbidden, but was getting the feeling that she had played with fire enough...
So, the voice of reason and the alarm bells in her head had made their point very clear.
The bubble broke and she was back in the real world with a clear mind et al.
So next day on, she gave him the royal ignore. (It irritated and amused her for a while that this stepping back was initially a part of her plan and that it would only pique his interest in her)
That very day, an article came in the paper which reverberated with her, she could identify with the quote:
When both speech and desire tremble on the threshold of silence…”We looked at each other without speaking, we spoke to each other, not knowing what we were saying”
- Giancomo Casanova
He doesn’t take the company bus anymore, travels by his new bike.
Once when she was out with her office buddies at D-mart after lunch to pick up some essentials (read chocolates, cookies), while they were looking for the least crowded counter to pay at, she spotted him at the farthest one, from where he was watching her, vulnerable look in place.
She gulped...
(warm, fuzzy feeling)
... and looked away.
Thanks Supriya for my first Blog award ever... feels really special :)
This award comes with the following rules:
1. You must thank the person who has given you the award. - Done
2. Copy the logo and place it on your blog. - Done
3. Link to the person who has nominated you for the award. - Done
4. Name 4 things about yourself that people might find interesting
- I love being with nature, whether its adventurous activities like trekking, or just looking out my window at the plants swaying in the wind, wondering about the story the 150 year old mango tree wants to say, it leaves me with a sense of peace & contentment...
- I write a lot, if not on a blog, then just on my cell, or a scrap of paper, especially when there are too many thoughts, i like to think of writing as my answer to Dumbledore's pensieve, a magical object into which the Hogwarts Headmaster pours his thoughts for preserving them, and i imagine also to get some headroom ;)
- I love food, i have often wondered how people 'eat to live'; i have a friend to whom, once when i offered ice cream, she replied, "i am not hungry", let me just say:
What?!!?!!?
- I see people's aura, you know the electromagnetic field around a person. Due to this, some people have labeled me a Mystic & some an up & coming Witch... LOL!! Though it would be cool, i could use a slice of magic in life, but seeing auras only means you have just learnt to pay attention to what your eyes are capable of... i am not going into the details because i already have on this blog...
5. Nominate 4 other Kreativ Bloggers. -
I have nominated four of the most outstanding bloggers' i have read, it has been a very difficult selection procedure for me, but i overcame...
6. Post links to the 4 blogs you nominate. -
CRD - http://scriptedinsanity.blogspot.com/
Shaun D - http://beyondboredom.wordpress.com/
Sneha - http://reducedtoashesrecreatedinbeauty.blogspot.com/
Abhishek - http://eraogenouszone.blogspot.com/
7. Leave a comment on each of the blogs to let them know they have been nominated... Done & Done
I haven't really been able to write off-late, whenever i firmly resolve to & park my ass down, i ended up finding more ways to decorate my blog.
However, something changed this morning & made me realize why i started blogging in the first place.
I had not planned to write, but now i cannot stop myself... i feel like i have something to say, an incredible urge to put it out there & maybe then, then the excitement will subside...
So here goes:
My Dad is home. Its a once-in-a-year thing & a pretty big deal!
When mummy woke me up today, she was so much cuter than she usually is & she is very cute usually... God! How i love Blinky & Popsy!!! :)
His suitcase is a place of wond
ers, you never know what you might find, i swam through the haze of chocolates, purses, perfumes, shoes etc for a while, got carried 
awa
y & then, found myself ...
I have already started subtly maneuvering my demands, rolled them up in sugar, mixed with flattery in the right amounts... can't help it, have turned into a little girl again... Oh, i might have a treadmill soon 
I seem to be in smiley-land, that's because i feel so good deep within, like we are all complete now, not just a directionless body without its head...
I say that not only because the dad is the senior-most one here, but because he is also the most stable + sensible + sensitive + sweetest + funniest person i know... He is the one who keeps all the psychos together & bound as one...
Without him a
round, in 
a few d
ays, we fall back into our old patterns of not respecting each other, taking each other for granted & the regular drama of 2 vs 1.
Let me explain.
Hardly any situation is resolved amicably, there is always side-taking & among the mum, bro & me, one of us always ends up playing the villian... So, there's always a:
Mum-dsnt-get-me phase for the bro n me,
James-is-so-mean phase for the mum n me &
Anu-is-such-a-bitch phase for the bro n mum...
LOL!! Yes, we are that juvenile... We need a stable, sensitive guy watching us & nodding his head in a mildly disapproving manner that says 'Kid
s, when will they grow up' 
Yup, the Mum is just a kid only, with her big, innocent wide eyes & a smile that holds nothing back... (Of course, she is also Superwoman but that's another post.)
I love my awesome, kickass family!
:) :) :) :)
i just read I think, I dream, I wonder and therefore I am... and i am SHOCKED...
Being that depressed is all rite... but what i cannot stand is that i was absolutely certain that i would lose the phone i was going to buy! ! !
and guess what?
I DID... within just 4 months!
(i guess i was too ashamed of myself to blog about that)
i have moved on henceforth, but the newer, wiser me doesn't think that she'll lose this one till it completes 2 yrs in her possession...
She bought it on Dec 1 and has just completed its 2 month anniversary!
Yes, it is imperative to recognize that so as to remind the bozo in her that its just been 2 months, and she can't get careless yet, cos there's a good 1 yr and 10 months to go!!!
By the way, i loove The Apple ipad tablet.I am totally eyeing it, Can you blame me?
The plotting & planning to obtain it has officially begun...
*Before you can grow up, you must fall in love 3 times.
Once you must fall in love with your best friend, ruining your friendship forever. This will teach you who your true friends are, and the fine line between friendship and more.
Once you must fall in love with someone you believe to be perfect. You will learn that no one is perfect, and that you should never be treated as any less than you deserve.
And once you must fall in love with someone that is exactly like you. This will teach you about who you are, and who you want to be.
And when you’re through with all that, you learn that the people who care about you the most are the ones that you hurt, and the ones that hurt you are the ones that you needed the most.
But most of a
ll, you learn that love is only a concept and is not something that can be defined, it is different to each person that experiences it. And you will learn to respect each and every person on this earth, knowing that everyone only wants to be loved.
*This is not written by me, its just a beautiful forward that i had to share with you...
Dark thoughts arise
In the maze of games,
Should one play along?
Whims contradict Goals
Ambition leads...
Drama misleads...
Ambition makes you who you deserve to be,
Drama makes you forget who you were...
Paradigm shifts
Live, not act
Love, don't react...
I had a real scary dream this morning, got up at 4:30 am because of it and even considered practicing accounts, just because i didn't wanna go back to sleep!!!
The Dream
After college, the train that was supposed to take me to Vashi, changed direction sometime and took me to Wadala instead... I was perplexed, shocked and confused, was just thinking about calling mom when a child with very hollow eyes, of about 12, tapped me on my arm, he had my phone and said he was calling my mom... I woke up terrified.
I was just wondering what was it that scared me so much?
I was also thinking about what my college counselor told me... She said that i hold the reins too tight around me, that i don't let myself be and asked me to 'give space to myself'. What that basically means is that i scold myself a lot more than even my mom does, so that's a lot! :P
Anyway, i realised what the dream was about and why it scared me more than it would most people...
The train to Vashi going to Wadala instead was representative of the things out of my control affecting my life (i don't like it one bit!) The child having in possession, my cellphone was terrifying because it signified that i had lost control of what should normally be within my grasp.
Now, on hindsight, why wouldn't that be terrifying to a supposed 'control freak' like me! ... And you thought this was about the kid with the hollow eyes lol! ;)
Things are not always what you see them to be, there is always the prospect of deception, you tend to see things the way you want to and the way you believe to be true but not for what it really is. . .
If you see things for what they really are, then you see every being tormented by their demons, everyone appears fallible and vulnerable...
Well, almost everyone... there are always a chosen few who seem so unperturbed by circumstances, people or even by a frothy mixture of both.
These 'always-happy' people are the ones who see things the way they want to, only the way they believe to be true. . .
Then, there are the others who actually see through deceptions and can clearly see reality, but they have seen so much of it already that it doesn't trill them anymore, they see it all but are unaffected, they are NOT happy but 'NUMB'
So how does one get to that place where one isn't deceiving the self, hasn't become numb, but is truly happy...
By choosing to see the beauty in the world and in all,
By admiring their beauty and blessing them so their torments go away...
By loving every soul, helping and being there for them always...
Yes, I've found the secret to lasting happiness...
After the Obituary to my dear cellfone, I've bought a new one now...
I know i should be really thrilled that I've found an alternate someone
who can keep all my favorite snapshots
who i can blab my heart out to, until i post it out here
who can remember everything i need to remember
who can utter my thoughts to all those who matter
who can sing to me, sensing my mood
But, then why does it still feel so bad,
as if i am being so insensitive...
as if i am not mourning the loss of my dearly-beloved-one-for-the-past-2-years (my longest such association, am i imagining it or is its metallic substitute for a heart bleeding for me too?)...
as if i am sleeping with the enemy...
I was ready to settle for a lesser substitute you know, but my mum's apparently way too generous :(
I did go to the police station today with the mother for her work.
The place stinks so much, has gruesome photos of mutilated beings, cobwebs all over the dusty registers, lazy policemen who avoid you till their lack-of-dignity allows them to, patchy walkies saying something undecipherable.
So, for obvious reasons, i dropped the idea-i-had-at-the-back-of-the-head.
They failed the test.
I didn't report the loss.
This one's actually better - lighter, sleeker and has all the frills that i would have missed so much.
Not difficult to get used to actually ;)
I'll be okay, dear friends, but pray, just pray that whoever got their filthy hands on it lives a miserable life, dies a terrible death and suffers in hell for all eternity...
Thank you so very much!
But, then why does it still feel so bad,
as if i am being so insensitive...
as if i am not mourning the loss of my dearly-beloved-one-for-the-past-2-years (my longest such association, am i imagining it or is its metallic substitute for a heart bleeding for me too?)...
as if i am sleeping with the enemy...
I was ready to settle for a lesser substitute you know, but my mum's apparently way too generous :(
I did go to the police station today with the mother for her work.
The place stinks so much
So, for obvious reasons, i dropped the idea-i-had-at-the-back-of-the-head.
They failed the test.
I didn't report the loss.
This one's actually better - lighter, sleeker and has all the frills that i would have missed so much.
Not difficult to get used to actually ;)
I'll be okay, dear friends, but pray, just pray that whoever got their filthy hands on it lives a miserable life, dies a terrible death and suffers in hell for all eternity...
Thank you so very much!
A twist of fate, a bad day, things going wrong, getting up n the wrong side of the bed... i don't believe in any of these things.
What i do believe in though, is altering the 'twist of fate' into an event that had to occur, find meaning in the loss of time/money/energy/anything that one's too attached to...
Yes, i am trying to come to grips with one such loss, i used to pride myself on being not as dependent on it, as my contemporaries are, but now i guess i was in denial...
Why won't i depend on someone...
who can keep all my favourite snapshots
who i can blab my heart out to, until i post it out here
who can remember everything i need to remember
who can utter my thoughts to all those who matter
who can sing to me, sensing my mood
Its true, i have lost my cellphone and i don't know how to even begin dealing with it.
i tell myself, its better that its gone because...
who needs snapshots to record every other occurence?
when did i really make time and sit down to transfer all the thoughts from the phone to my online dwelling?
the right music is therapheutic, but was also non-existent when required, even having em assorted playlists for all kind of moods weren't all that helpful
Simplistically speaking, the question is -> Can i really live with a phone minus the frills?
i can live without the smapshots, that exposes not only me, but all the other wonderful people recorded on my fone, to malicious intent, when in hands of one without scruples...
i can live without the music, which more often than not, was just noise because it was unable to keep in pace with my change of moods, mostly useful in just shutting out even more undesirabe noise and thoughts-without-immediate-solutions...
i probably can and losing it won't hurt so bad either... i know i will lose the phone i am about to buy too, this isn't pessimism either, its just a cold, hard fact, coming from someone whose just lost her fourth fone...
What i certainly cannot live without is my personal diary, that i could always clutch within my palm...
This is in memory of you, my darling phone...
Hello der! How’s life treating ya? No, wait… correction….How are you treating life???
Did you know that the falling dream is actually an indication of you having lost control of some aspect of your daily life? One of my friends gets that dream repeatedly but she’s not gonna buy into this… very cynical babe that one…
And the Death dream actually symbolizes the death of worries in a person’s life! And indicates longevity and prosperity … had seen a very close friend in such a dream, was scared shitless and of course she did not fancy it either… yet
M brought a palmistry book yesterday, in which I saw that I have a psychic hand and have crosses in just the right place to make it as an occultist! Bring out the Crystal Ball already ;)
Otherwise, the movie left a bad taste in the mouth, something that happens only when one can’t digest what one has been put through!
The Movie, on the other hand, was all about the ‘All-Important Man’ as Carrie can’t believe she’s about to get married, gets left at the altar, sulks for most part of the movie, only to finally marry him – blaming it on ‘Love’.
We went for a quick drive and stopped for ice-creams at a gujju parlour, turn off your internal spell checks, ppl ;)
Later, a taxi strode right into office
Grill Sandwich at Blossom's... Ummm Heaven!
Confessions of a shopaholic - The movie was a whole lot of fun just like the trailers promised and yes the theatre was brimming with like, 90% girl population... i guess we can just smell a good chick flick in the air!
Gossip Girl - Yes, it sounds superficial, good thing is it doesn't claim to be anything else. The script's well written, witty, smart, bitchy... Music's darn good too and how can i forget the people look gorgeous!
Half the reason i watch is the clothes, styling & accessories, worth killing for! Oh Yeah... has to be seen to be believed!
Reading: Ascent of money
Niall Ferguson writes financial history in a such a simplified manner that rookies like me can understand how it all works. Banks, debt and stock market don't seem so daunting anymore. The book has turned into a popular Television Series, the music's catchy and the narration intriguing that no wonder its such a hit, but don't be fooled, its practically been read right out of the book.
&
Stay Hungry Stay Foolish that takes a walk down memory lane into the lives of the entrepreneurs of our time. People who said no to seven figure salaries to take plunge & those who crossed the bridge when they came to it, in all cases, Real inspiration.
Must-read: Our Ultimate Reality, if you are the kind of person who wonders about Life, Universe and Everything, this book is what you want!
As the decibels rose on the evening of the 30th, the rooftop was the place to be at and like moths drawn to a fire, all of us gathered.
The organizing committee comprising of Priyanka (CCD), Yatin, Madhav, Priyanka (HP), Gayatri, Gautam, Punit, Meenakshi, Anil, Prady and Brinda had organized some wonderful games. The event soon gained in momentum as the games begun.
First among them was Fevicol ka Majboot Jod, for which groups of 15 were formed, a circle was made wherein each member locked hands with the rest and alternate members faced into and out of the circle. Once the hands were locked-in and positions fixed, the race was on!
There were five such teams and two raced at a time. Two got disqualified when hands lost their grip sometime during the pursuit of speed.
The finale between an all-girls team & all-boys team was a treat to watch, while the rest of us picked sides, placed bets and cheered on!
The complexity level was raised a bit this time, what with them racing diagonally this time. In the end though, it was a close call as the boys crossed the finish line just a few seconds before the girls.
Next was Hum Saath Saath Hain, wherein all the GCD teams were to move clockwise in a circle till the music played, but when it stopped and the host, Madhav, announced a number, groups of that particular number were to be formed. Anyone found in a group of lesser or greater number was disqualified. Most of the people stuck loyally to the initial group they had formed, others switched when the tide changed. It was fun as scheming and strategy occupied everyone’s minds and staying in the game became a priority. One could tell how much people were enjoying this game, by the looks of distress on their faces when disqualified.
Kunal, Sivakumar, Kiran, Sameer and Mahesh were the five who sustained till the end.
There were prizes for rare achievements like having the Maximum number of keys in a key ring; Winner – Sivakumar K, Possessor of red rimmed spectacles; Winner – Rithesh Shetty, Maximum number of buttons on an outfit – 80(!); Winner – Pravina Raorane.
The cake was then cut by some of our most experienced Lionites, after which cake & appetizers were gobbled up.
By then it was time to hit the dance floor and most took to it with ease. In true party spirit, everyone grooved to the beats as the DJ belted out popular numbers one after the other.
It was good fun to see everybody's other side as they danced, tried to dance, stepped on toes and into a trance.
Time seemed to fly by, as once dinner was had; it was soon time to pack up and ship off, bringing to an end a truly memorable evening.
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